ahhh woke up at 515am, excited to go work a 12 hour shift for black friday...i know i need to do an update on whats going on- ive probably got five or six drafts that arent published. Mostly because I read them, and they lack humor. Give me a couple of days.

Mira missed her photo day at school because of this cancer crap. All those appointments that I have in Raleigh 2 hours away on the 11th-13th-guess when her retake day is for school pics? That Friday, when I have an apptmnt at 9 am and another at 130pm. We were gonna stay in a hotel for those 3 days and let her miss school?

Stupid cancer.

After being being verbally threatened with being shot by overly privileged 17 year old girl at work today, I came home to find out about the shootings at Ft Hood. Strange, I commented to my husband, that they dont reference the shooting 'spree' in Killeen in 1991.

Its a pretty vivid memory, because 5 minutes before George Hennard drove his truck through the front window of Lubys Cafeteria, my mom and I were arguing about eating at that very place. We pulled up and I felt sick to my stomach. My mother insisted that I was just being problematic-contrary-but I felt the overwhelming sense of " I cant eat here."

My mother gave in to what she thought was me being a moody 19 year old and we went to Mr. Gattis Pizza instead. When we drove back down the highway later-we found we'd missed him by a few mere minutes.

I was shocked. For two days I sat in front of the tv watching news reports. It'd only been five years since Id been shot in the chest. I couldn't have possibly known what was going to happen-but I came so close. Eyewitnesses claimed that Mr. Hennard seemed to single out the women-that he killed them preferentially speaking more than men.

Ever since that day, when I get the 'sick feeling' that I had that day that mightve saved  my life- I believe in it. I make no excuses, I dont care how crazy it may seem-I follow my intuition. On more than a few occasions since Luby's, my 'spidey sense' has made a difference, albeit perhaps not as dramatic as barely missing a mass killing.

My heart goes out to those people in Ft. Hood today-one day-the survivors will look upon today as some strange history, something that changed the very essence of their spirit and hopefully-for the better. Or the shooter wins.

Somehow I cant help but think of "Impression that I get" by the MightY Mighty Bosstones- a song that talks about what its like to be that person who's never seen a bad day or lived through something tragic.

Gallaghers office told me to give them something more than a general address of the hospital so they can send my path slides..I call UNC for this info; only to find out UNC received them on TUESDAY. Is there no end to the local ineptitude??

also- my BRCA test came back negative-which means no gene mutations..which is really good especially for my daughter~